Posts filed under ‘Mixtape’
It’s been a minute since I put out a tape. I know what you’re all thinking. Yeah, I got dat ass. Thanks for noticing. It’s all thanks to the Action Bronson School of Squats. Now put on the headphones and nod ya head/jam/relax to something that is a compilation of things people much more talented than I put together, but which I take credit for.
Whenever I sit down to make a mix, I throw away any inclinations to put songs in that I think other people would want to hear. I do what I want. I just throw together a bunch of stuff that I know I’d like to hear. I do it for me. I’m selfish like that. I also do it because I still need friends’ and strangers’ approval, which negates everything I said earlier. Basically I’m no better than those little kids who take shirtless selfies and put them on Instagram. Oh gosh I’ve just typed myself into a corner. I should go.
You can stop emailing me scanned pictures of your butts, guys. I made another one. Your appetite for mediocrity knows no bounds!
Listen. I know you guys all sit by your computers hitting the refresh button on my site, hoping that I’ll post a new mixtape. It’s only natural. With my vast internetting skills, I’ve decided to visualize how all this went down.
I crocheted you this mixtape out of the yarn of love with the needles of hope on the rocking chair of phat azz beats.
OMG, Becky. (I’m referring to all you readers as Becky now.) I finally made a new one. It’s been a long time coming. Like my puberty. I’ve learned various things on the internet (about mixtapes and puberty) and now the mixtapes have chapters so whatever artist/song is playing will show up in your iTunes. And you can skip songs if you’re a dick.
Oh. Hello. Didn’t see you there. *Takes a sip from a frosty ginger ale, adjusts robe* Ahhh. Goes down smooth. Well… come with me, my friend. You sexy thing. I have something for you. Don’t be shy, it’s right here. *Points to crotch*
Oh, and I made another mixtape.
“Destin, when are you gonna put out another mixtape? We miss you so much!” – Every babe ever.
Well you can stop crying, little girls, because I am back and better than ever at mixtapes than will disappoint you slightly! This one right here clocks in at just a pube under an hour long so you’ll have plenty of time to think about the time in high school when I ran a sub five-minute mile.
Rather than half, I decided to put my entire ass into making this mix. I hope you enjoy it. It’s been in the making for quite some time. Because of that, it clocks in at over an hour, making it the longest mixtape yet. What does that mean? That means you essentially get twice as much time to be fooled into thinking that I know anything about making mixtapes.
This one’s for Chris since he’s always saying nice things about me.